Quiz — Ally In Divorce

Change and Transition Thinking: A Self-Reflection Quiz

Divorce sets significant and varied transitions in motion. When approaching and navigating a life transition it’s invaluable for one to recognize and appreciate their orientation to change. The following exercise will help you to reflect on how you experience and operate in a season of transition. Use this to know yourself — and please be kind and accepting to that self.

Don’t miss the starting points for reflection at the bottom.

Are the following statements “MOST OFTEN” or “RARELY” true of you:

1. I can make a change without concern for it being the "right" time or circumstances.

2. I can make changes proactively – before they are forced on me.

3. I do not need to feel totally “fed up” before I’ll make a change.

4. I often look forward to change as exciting and challenging.

5. When confronted with an inevitable change with which I disagree, I strive to accept it and look for productive ways of adjusting to the difference.t

6. I realize that sometimes even positive or promising changes may ultimately bring unforeseen problems.

7. I am not burdened by a sense of responsibility for unforeseen negative results of changes.

8. When coming to terms with a major change/transition in my life, I try to keep other changes to a minimum.

9. When facing a change or transition, I reflect on how I have handled similar events/situations in the past to cultivate ideas or inspiration for navigating my current situation.

10. I look to other people who have undergone similar changes as models for how I might better navigate the changes in my life.

11. During a time of change/transition, I ask for help and support from friends and professionals that I trust.

12. After a life changing event, I slow down and/or pause to reflect and to seek a sense of regained balance.

13. In a time of change/transition I can acknowledge and accept that I may need to hold multiple or “mixed” feelings.

14. I don’t dwell excessively on “the way things used to be.” I can move my mindset to “the way things are” or the way that I would like them to be with relative ease.

15. To make a change I believe in, I am willing to risk the disapproval of others and to move forward without their support.

16. When a positive change for another person has the potential to change my relationship with them, I don’t let my fears interfere with my support of them.

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A starting point for reflection on this exercise…

If “MOST OFTEN TRUE" predominantly resonated with you, then your nimble way in change can serve you well. That said, when it comes to the divorce process there is often value in moving at decisions and actions more slowly than your impulses are firing. A more considered pace makes space for thoughtful choices aligned with your long-term goals and values.

If the statements were more "RARELY TRUE" of you, then you may struggle with substantial resistance, fear and indecision in your mind and body in the process of divorce. However, the divorce process will go forward. It's in your interest to engage in it with whatever courage you can conjure, skills you can build and information you can collect. These are the elements that will power you through and beyond this enormous, but temporary, discomfort.

If you would like to talk more about how coaching can support you in divorce, please contact me to schedule a complimentary consultation.

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This quiz was adapted from the work of Dee Cascio, LPC and Divorce Coaching, Inc.